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Holding on to Hope


Some days, holding on to hope seems a bit ridiculous, yet, most days, it’s the only thing that gets us through the difficult reality my family and I are living. 


Hope, after all, is generally seen as dependent on our own strength, or a wish for an outcome out of our control.  With my husband going through cancer treatment for Leukemia, it is easy to get caught up in statistics, prognosis, treatments, and blood counts given to us by the medical professionals.  Often, this information we receive is delivered with a measured tone…not optimism, not pessimism, but certainly not hopeful.  I understand this; they don’t want to get our hopes up, and yet, sometimes, hope is the only thing getting us through.  I admit that even after a few months since his diagnosis I cry for the life I thought we would have together, and I feel like hope is fleeting. I wonder what happened and how this could be our lives now, and I am angry because this is not what our life together is supposed to be!



For these reasons, I am so thankful I have a Saviour in whom I can put my hope and faith.  The Biblical sense of hope is to have confident expectations of what God has promised.  The strength of this hope is in God and His faithfulness, not my strength or any other human’s.   

Throughout this journey of blood cancer with my husband, from diagnosis and now in treatment, I have seen God’s steadfast presence.  He was there nudging me to encourage my husband to see the doctor. He was there, guiding the doctor to order blood tests.  He was there with a short wait at a usually busy laboratory to get the blood drawn.  He was there with us when my husband was diagnosed with Leukemia late one night just before Christmas in the ER.  He has been with us at each and every step of the way.  His faithfulness has been with us since before the word Cancer ever came into our lives.  God has even given us promises to hold onto, both personally and biblically, when our hope stumbles. I have stumbled many times, and likely will many times more.  His promises are there when we’re about to fall off the cliff and lose all hope. There, on the edge, He reminds us to reach out at the last minute to grasp the one lifeline of a promise He has given us to hold onto. 

  

“ For I know the plans I have for you,”  declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” -Jer. 29:11 NIV

Thank goodness God knows we will stumble.  For He is able to increase our hope when we’re not capable of doing it on our own. 


“ I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief.” - Mark 9:24 NIV

Sometimes, I feel ashamed for losing hope because I know all these things in my mind, but I have difficulty believing them in my heart. However, I have realized that this is the exact reason God sent Jesus Christ to earth, so we know that He understands our human condition.  God knows that I am not perfect at always having faith and hope in Him, especially when the information we are given seems daunting, and more bad than good.  God sent Jesus to give us hope in the living God.  We can bring our fears, worries and lack of hope to Jesus, be forgiven, and receive His everlasting hope.  




So, if you find yourself in a hopeless place and feel like you’re about to fall off the edge of a cliff into the depths of despair, reach out for the lifeline of the God who knows you and has written His promises to you in His words and on your heart. In Him, you will receive peace, hope, and faith, even when you can’t find them for yourself. I don’t say this to be cliche or to belittle the pain and sorrow you feel in your life circumstances, but because I have experienced it for myself.  Each time I reach out to Him for hope in my hopelessness, He reminds me of His promises and shows me a new perspective, which is really His.  You are not alone, dear one, God is with you from everlasting to everlasting. 


xox,

Gillian


PS- Head to my Substack account to read more of my writing that may not be on this website. Head to this page here: https://gillianyuanmoms.substack.com/

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